Monday, November 15, 2010

im back...part 2

favorite fine arts library memories and conversations, with google pictures of random people who resemble the people in the story:

man: hi, id like to put some books on reserve for the upcoming Andrew Lloyd  Weber opera tryouts
me: sure, just fill out this form
man: do you like singing?
me: um..not in particular
man: thats a shame..everyone should try out for these things I think
me: do you really mean that?
man: no...not at all.

lady: i wish i could have that organ player performing in my church on sundays
me: organ player?
lady: yeah, the one thats playing right now
me: i dont hear anything, the walls are sound-proof so i cant hear it if its outside
(door opens, no sounds whatsoever)
lady: i really think it would be nice to have it around on sundays

(phone call)

rrrrrrrrrringggg...RIIIIIIIINGGGG (really, it gets louder everytime)

me: hello, fine arts library
caller: hey what time do you guys close tonight?
me: 9 o clock
caller: okay cool
me: okay....
caller: (panicky voice) ill be by at like..i dont know...10..
me: Sir, at 10, were ...CLICK

girl: hey can you help me with the copier?
me: sure.
(she proceeds to use copier, clearly knowing how to do it without help)
girl: okay, go ahead and copy it for me
me: seem like you know what youre doing. now just press the button
girl, stepping away from copier: im kind of afraid of them now
me: afraid..of the copier..?
girl: yeah, my friend told me that he read about somebody on the internet who started developing this thing where you can like...see in the dark and stuff, because the copier light caused damage to his eyes
me: did it like..affect his day vision?
girl: no, that was fine
me: ................
girl: thatd actually be cool to have i guess
me: that story is false in so many ways

last 2 hours of work back

its been awile. All of the stress in the fine arts library has really caught up to me. as youll notice, its a new name for the blog. I figured don quixote wouldnt appreciate my blog being named after him, considering the things I put/will put on here...and hes the one fighting windmills.

here's been the summary of what ive been doing since I last blogged:

wasting money
working at the library
going to class
muse concert
playing pokemon

really significant stuff.

so, since im working right now, ill go ahead and give you an idea of a typical 4 hour day at the library. it really is the most boring/suprising job on the market.

5pm- work shift begins

5:15-5:20- arrive at work

5:21- say hi to my boss/tell him why i am literally never available to cover any other shifts (commonly referred to as lying)

5:25-5:30- wait for him to leave

5:31- fun begins

5:31- put my headphone in, even though i never listen to music on the job (good tactic to have customers avoid you)

5:32- 6:30- open facebook, yahoosports, and channel 131 for the remainder of the shift

6:30-6:45- decide ive worked hard enough for a break, walk to another building to get a coke and some candy, even though we have a machine right outside the room

6:45-7:00- consider doing homework, but decide to do it later (yep, it takes 15 minutes)

7:00-8:00- by this time im feeling another coke, because ive already cashed the other and know ill want another one soon, so go back to the other building, except, talk on the phone outside for like 30 minutes after i get the goods

8:00-8:25- start to make philosophies/theories about why they dont just put all books online and shut down libraries

8:25- begin erasing the browsing history on the library computer. by this time,
theres just dozens of videos, websites, facebook posts, etc. that are completely unacceptable at the University of Oklahoma Fine Arts Library

8:40- flash the 10 minutes left lights 10 minutes early

8:45-8:50- walk around "checking for misplaced books" , but not really, knowing theyre going to have to shelve them in the morning while im sleeping anyway, and knowing theyll forget about it by the time I work again

8:55- library closed. ive lasted 3 hours, 55 minutes, but never conjure the strength to finish the job.

9:00- I 35 northbound, feeling accomplished

Monday, September 20, 2010

Evan 2.0

I just had to post that picture, because it's awesome. And I would love to blow it up to a poster size and throw it on my wall. Anyway...

Step aside, Tosh. It's time for me to post videos that I like and become famous. So here's some videos that I like.

1. OU football intro video. Always.

2. Bud Light Beer Falcon

3. Bud Light Swear Jar

4. Where Amazing Happens

5. Bruins Hockey Rules

6. Only One

7. What I've Done

8. History Will Be Made

Now, for 3 inspirational videos to finish up.

9. Vladimir Konstantinov- 2 videos for you, good sir

10. Free Hugs Campaign

And finally, the best video without a doubt. Most inspirational video I've ever seen.

11. Rick and Dick Hoyt- Father and Son

I'm happy with my layout change, by the way. I hope it is more readable now. Also, if you have time, feel free to feed my fish at the top of the screen. Give one a name if you want. Do whatever.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

a little (fried) slice of heaven

It's that time of year again. The state fair of oklahoma. I don't know about you, but there really isn't a thing I don't like about it, besides that it doesn't stick around all year. In honor of this glorious event, I would like to share a few questions it brings to mind, and then I'll go ahead and list the top 10 things i love about it.

Some questions the fair presents:

1. Where do these people come from?

Jorts, jerseys, face covered in grease, and some camo article of clothing. Yeah I know it sounds like the typical Stillwater resident, but it bothers me to think of this scenario. What if some European person had ONE day to see Oklahoma, and they went to the fair. What would they think? I won't explain everything else..just know that this explains our reputation as rednecks.

           2. Is there one single type of food at the fair that is healthy?

Think of all the food you have ever eaten at the state fair. If you can honestly say that you have eaten something healthy there, please comment below. I just know I haven't, and I know my family hasn't either. Yes, that includes Emily.

          3. How can anyone feel safe letting their kids ride those rides?

I won't do much explaining here. Tell me those rides are tested monthly. Yeah right. The laws of nature just don't allow those rides to safely function forever. I just like watching those parents wearing the clothes described above, holding a beer, taking pictures of their kids while that ride is hanging on by a thread.

Top ten things at the fair (with no explanation, in no particular order):

1. The food (specifically corn, tater twirls, and fried cheese)
2. The lesser-seen Oklahomans
3. The pressing need for seating around the food areas that will never be satisfied
4. Christian music on the Native American pan flute
5. Fair celebrities (Tiny Tina, Bozo the clown, the one hit wonder band they always bring in, etc.)
6. Deep fried soda. I saw it this year. Amazed me so much, I'm giving it recognition.
7. Seeing the not sold in stores! things from television
8. Dippin dots. They're not the Ice Cream of the Future as promoted, but it's the one time of year I eat it.
9. Telling yourself, "this will give me a reason to go to the gym" but instead, you go back to the fair one more time before it closes for the year.
10. The feeling you get amongst the people wearing jorts and wife beaters, that "wow, I feel so out of place" sort of feeling.

Make sure and get out to the fair this year. And enjoy.

Saturday, September 18, 2010


Well, I'm going to give the blogging thing a shot for the time being. Who knows how motivated I'll be throughout this semester and further into the future. I'll just go with it.

I gave this blog its name because I recently read Don Quixote. I thought it was interesting on a few levels. The thing I thought that was so great about the character of Don Quixote was that in a serious world, he was the one taking life lightly and running around conquering windmills. Idiot? Maybe. Probably. But that guy loved what he did, even though he really thought windmills to be some sort of enemy. I just thought it's something we all should do a little of : have our own windmills to chase in an otherwise serious world. Great book, thankful I gave it a chance.

I don't really plan on writing deep, deep thoughts on this blog unless I feel like something needs to be said. In fact, that short paragraph preceding this one is about as deep as it'll ever get. Generally, this will be a very sarcastic blog. So as my first post, I'd like to bring to your attention a pressing problem in society today. Something that could very well affect your health in the future, as it already has affected mine.

The subject? Optical illusions.

 Apparently, you're supposed to stare at this black dot until the gray starts to disappear. I tried this 1,000 times earlier at work, and it works. Congratulations. But to get to that point, I had to stare at my computer screen at singular black dot until I couldn't see anything at work but black dots. It was like everyone was made of little black and white pixels. But....that gray area disappeared! Awesome.

...are you kidding me? Before I even start to rant about that, I feel uncomfortable looking at this anyway because it looks like someone's eye is staring at me through the computer. Anyway, I'll just go ahead and quote the instructions for this vortex, circle, disco party decoration thing.
"Stare at the center for 10 seconds and begin moving your eyes around the outer perimeter..."
"Does it appear to be moving, shimmering, or just making you dizzy?"

Well actually, if you stare long enough it'll spin until you feel like you'll fall into it. AND I'm dizzy. Now I won't sleep at night because this eye will be looking into my soul while I sleep. Thanks.

I just bring this up because I cant fathom how looking at things like this is healthy for any human being. We're supposed to stare at a single image for an extended period of time until our body tricks us into thinking what is in front of us is actually moving. That sounds like a horrible drug trip, not something that should be in a magazine. Last time I checked, staring at anything usually isn't the right thing to do. Don't stare at the sun. Don't stare at the crazy soccer mom screaming at her kids in Wal Mart. But hey, stare at this freaky image until you feel like your brain will shut down or you start seeing things that aren't real.

Anyway, this post has been really long for something that really doesn't matter. But still, I feel like I don't need to be Evan, M.D. to know that this is really unhealthy for the human psyche. All I need is to stare at my ceiling fan long enough at night until it appears to turn on and start spinning.